Tacky Christmas

I used to tease Laura that I was going to buy as many gaudy Christmas yard ornaments as I could find and declare that year our Tacky Christmas. It never happened, but the thought remains to prompt a smile whenever I see oversized displays on someone's roof.

My musical neighbor, Kevin Pace, suggested last week that I try to write a Christmas song and he would put it to music. I'm sure he was thinking of something beautiful and serene. I was thinking more along the lines of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer." I hope he isn't too disappointed.

A Tacky Christmas
by Mark Fotheringham

VERSE 1
Giant Santa on the roof
Competes with Claus below.
A silver tinsel Christmas tree
Emits an eerie glow.

Piles of fluffy cotton snow
Are scattered 'cross the lawn
In hopes of recreating
Christmas morning's magic dawn.

CHORUS
We love our tacky Christmas
It's very plain to see
So hand me one more string of lights
To wrap around the Christmas tree

We love our tacky Christmas
It fills our souls with glee
So hand me one more string of lights
To wrap around the Christmas tree

VERSE 2
Paper snowflakes hung from trees,
Now drooping after rain,
Look better than the yard gnome elves
We failed to paint again.

Inflate the 8-foot snowman!
Retrieve the Santa hats,
To hang on pink flamingos
Next to penguins wearing spats.

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE 3
Bushes blaze with blinking lights
Ten thousand, maybe more,
We love the plastic pine cone wreath
That's plastered on the door.

Every year the same display,
We just can't get enough,
So come on over to see the yard
And envy all our stuff.

REPEAT CHORUS
Yes, hand me one more string of lights, to wrap around the Christmas tree